IF Trump Dies So Does Everyone in Iran !

Friday night. The world is spinning like a Bangkok bar fight. In the White House, President Trump is doing what he does best: threatening to turn Iran into a parking lot.His reason? Intel says Tehran put a hit out on him. A bullet with his name on it.

Trump did not take this well. He did not call for diplomacy. He did not, as the kids say, chill the fuck out.

Instead, he went nuclear on Truth Social:"1000 Missiles are Locked and Loaded... should Iran act on its threat to assassinate the sitting President, in this case, ME!"That little flourish — "in this case, ME!" — is pure, uncut Trump. Like watching a car crash in slow motion.

But wait. He also threw in a "PRAISE BE TO ALLAH!" right after promising to obliterate them. It's like ordering a hit and asking them to pass the salt.He gave a timeline too. One year. "Subject to extension" — Trump-speak for "until I get bored."

The plot thickens. Iran's new Supreme Leader, Mojtaba Khamenei, is out for blood. His father got smoked in U.S. strikes Trump ordered back in February. Now Mojtaba swears vengeance. Trump promises to make every Iranian pay.Eye for an eye — except both sides are legally blind and armed with cruise missiles.

So here we are. Two guys trading annihilation threats like broken bottles in a dive bar. One's a reality TV star who treats foreign policy like a hotel deal. The other's a zealot with a grudge. Nobody's blinking. Not Trump. Not Khamenei. Nobody.

So crack a beer. Watch with one eye closed. If this goes sideways, we're all gonna need a really good last meal.And if you're in Iran? Start looking for a really deep basement.